USA Today Review - Worst Ever

Apr 28th (5 years ago)

Posted by: John Lennon

"Ben Folds, Songs for Silverman (* ½) If the past two decades of modern rock have taught us anything, it's that cleverness and earnestness are overrated. The lesson of Folds' second solo outing is that, combined, these qualities can be downright deadly. The preening harmonies and fussy jazz and alt-pop flourishes embellishing the former Ben Folds Five frontman's piano-driven tracks nod self-consciously to Brian Wilson and Todd Rundgren. But tunes such as You to Thank and Late sound more like pretentious Billy Joel rejects — only with Folds' colorless vocals. Surely Silverman, whomever he or she is, deserves better. —Gardner"

http://www.usatoday.com/life/music/reviews/2005-04-25-l
isten-up_x.htm

Don't even ask about my user name.

Apr 28th (5 years ago)

Posted by: +88 Kickin Keys

Seen it.

"people know you by your first name and qoute you in their signatures."

- Ali

Apr 28th (5 years ago)

Posted by: HarmonizedMoFo

it's too laaaaaate

RS BF5: Ben: Why does Mr. Pibb come in a can?
RS BF5: Ben: His wife died.
AOLiveMC1: LOL! Goodnight boys!

http://www.geocities.com/tcdosage

Apr 28th (5 years ago)

Posted by: +88 Kickin Keys

Search "Elysa Gardner" and you'll see the board's general opinion of her.

"people know you by your first name and qoute you in their signatures."

- Ali

Apr 28th (5 years ago)

Posted by: John Lennon

I searched back the past couple pages to see if this was posted before. *Sigh*

Don't even ask about my user name.

Apr 28th (5 years ago)

Posted by: jooce129

what a stupid fucking review. calling anything "pretentious" is so fucking sleazy and scummy. gawd, what a fucking dumbass review.

"Smells good!" -- Grant (88KickinKeys), yet again, killing another thread with yet another dumb Grant joke.

Apr 28th (5 years ago)

Posted by: John Lennon

Sorry. Just realized this was posted a couple days ago. Argh. Flame away.

Don't even ask about my user name.

Apr 28th (5 years ago)

Posted by: midnightphoenix

Lets play a game. Its called why-in-the-hell-do-we-all-care-what-shitty-reporters-th
ink-of-ben. Its kinda like chutes and ladders. everytime you listen to one of them, you fall down the poop chute.

Tylor.

down the tracks, beautiful mcmansions on a hill that over look a highway

"for some reason, it sounds like a He Man character - TY-LOR"
Crazy Bluto's explanation for my name.

Apr 28th (5 years ago)

Posted by: IwannabeKate

We have to step on them, though, because sometimes if we don't they manage to sway our opinions anyway.

What bothers me though is somehow "earnest" has turned into "pretentious."

Because you know how pretentious it is when you actually try to present something truthfully.

Ben, how could you.

(Phoebe)

Just remember that you're standing on a planet that's evolving and revolving at 900 miles an hour!

Apr 28th (5 years ago)

Posted by: midnightphoenix

what? honesty and integrity in music? i thought that was only in the movies!

Tylor.

down the tracks, beautiful mcmansions on a hill that over look a highway

"for some reason, it sounds like a He Man character - TY-LOR"
Crazy Bluto's explanation for my name.

Apr 28th (5 years ago)

Posted by: IwannabeKate

No, because it's pretentious in movies, too.

Don't you keep up?

(Ange[L optional])

Just remember that you're standing on a planet that's evolving and revolving at 900 miles an hour!

Apr 28th (5 years ago)

Posted by: SirLaitier

Jennifer Lopez, Rebirth (* * * out of four) No one will ever mistake Lopez for Celine Dion, but Lopez's tangy, girlish singing is actually better suited to sassy, smartly produced tracks such as the thumping (if not exactly fast-rising) single Get Right and new single Hold You Down, an irresistibly sweet buddy song featuring Fat Joe. And while only Lopez's voice-dressers know for sure, her crooning sounds less processed on this outing's breezy pop-soul confections. Besides, if tone enhancement and pitch correction were crimes, we couldn't build enough jails to hold the offenders. —Elysa Gardner

...so if everyone does it, it's okay? This woman leaves me speechless.

Reviews of music for people who don't like music.

"I thought about...your mommy..." --Ben

EVERYONE ON THE .ORG! You can call me Mike.

"I love the Power Glove. It's so bad."

Apr 28th (5 years ago)

Posted by: IwannabeKate

Thank you so much.

(Ange[L optional])

Just remember that you're standing on a planet that's evolving and revolving at 900 miles an hour!

Apr 28th (5 years ago)

Posted by: unkiewalter

i wonder if she also liked lopez in , "enough"?
not that was an acting juggernaut!

love comes in spurts

Apr 28th (5 years ago)

Posted by: IwannabeKate

We should e-mail her and ask.

(Ange[L optional])

Just remember that you're standing on a planet that's evolving and revolving at 900 miles an hour!

Apr 28th (5 years ago)

Posted by: unkiewalter

i'd rather email her with some info on penis enhancment

love comes in spurts

Apr 28th (5 years ago)

Posted by: Steffen

only with Folds' colorless vocals

Somebody get me this guys address!!!

She's gonna be pissed when she wakes up
For terrible things I did to her in her dreams

Apr 28th (5 years ago)

Posted by: Steffen

Sorry...

Somebody give me HER address

She's gonna be pissed when she wakes up
For terrible things I did to her in her dreams

Apr 28th (5 years ago)

Posted by: mangrilla

...so if everyone does it, it's okay?
Folds uses pitch correction too... at least I'm pretty sure he does.

Apr 28th (5 years ago)

Posted by: SirLaitier

Seriously? I never got that impression from any of his vocals...I think the opening harmonies in Jesusland are a good illustration of that. That little high part is a tad off.

"I thought about...your mommy..." --Ben

EVERYONE ON THE .ORG! You can call me Mike.

"I love the Power Glove. It's so bad."

Apr 28th (5 years ago)

Posted by: mangrilla

I mean seriously, pretty much everyone uses it here or there. People like Britney pretty much use it as their voice, but you can hear it in songs like Army.

Ben Kweller's done it too (although I don't think they used it on the last one though). Pretty much everyone does, it's just more economically prudent in a lot of cases. You spend the day recording and get back and listen to a vocal that now, just doesn't sound like it should. You can spend more money and go back in the studio, or you can use a computer and tweak it in a manner of seconds.

I see nothing wrong with pitch correction if the artist can actually sing what is on the CD, like Ben obviously can.

Apr 28th (5 years ago)

Posted by: LifeOnaPlate

if defending pitch correction is a main staple of a one-paragraph praising review of J-Lo's music, it really says a lot about what the writer holds as musical genious.

(Hi Mr. Ben Folds, please call LifeOnaPlate, I know you been avoiding or something, but, um, you know, you did something, its different from our oral agreement, and, uh, ya know, I could do something with it because I have all the papers here signed and the letter too, so, uh, pleeease get back to me, and I- don't like whatever people do, and you know, differently from what we agreed, and that's not the right way for any business.)

Uncle Richard, me and James Warren Jones

Apr 28th (5 years ago)

Posted by: mangrilla

After reading this review, do you think critics review albums based on other albums in their genre, or based on all albums of their contemporaries, or to just all albums that reviewer has ever heard?

So for example, is this J.Lo CD a *** out of **** because it's good compared to other pop singer cds (more specifically, pretty chicks who put out albums for people to dance to, but can't really sing all that well, a la britney spears and others of the sort)? Well, I don't really listen to many pop vocalist cds, so maybe it is.

Or, it could be in relation to EVERY album currently out there by contemporaries, such as Ben Folds (even though he's got a few years on her). Still, even more so, would the review be of the album's worth in it's own genre compared to say, a ben album's worth in his genre (So J.Lo's album is great compared to others in her category, while Ben's is obviously a better record, but doesn't shine within it's genre)?

Wow, this has just led me to so many questions. I can really just keep going on and on.

So maybe my point is that reviewers need to be more upfront about what their ratings really mean. I seriously doubt anyone can call a J.lo cd a 3 out of 4 stars album, when compared to all albums ever released. Well I take that back, some people can but they are fucking retarded.

Apr 28th (5 years ago)

Posted by: +88 Kickin Keys

I know that Roger Ebert frequently talks about the relativity of star ratings:

"Shaolin Soccer" is like a poster boy for my theory of the star rating system. Every month or so, I get an anguished letter from a reader wanting to know how I could possibly have been so ignorant as to award three stars to, say, "Hidalgo" while dismissing, say, "Dogville" with two stars. This disparity between my approval of kitsch and my rejection of angst reveals me, of course, as a superficial moron who will do anything to suck up to my readers.
What these correspondents do not grasp is that to suck up to my demanding readers, I would do better to praise "Dogville." It takes more nerve to praise pop entertainment; it's easy and safe to deliver pious praise of turgid deep thinking. It's true, I loved "Anaconda" and did not think "The United States of Leland" worked, but does that mean I drool at the keyboard and prefer man-eating snakes to suburban despair?

Not at all. What it means is that the star rating system is relative, not absolute. When you ask a friend if "Hellboy" is any good, you're not asking if it's any good compared to "Mystic River," you're asking if it's any good compared to "The Punisher." And my answer would be, on a scale of one to four, if "Superman" (1978) is four, then "Hellboy" is three and "The Punisher" is two. In the same way, if "American Beauty" gets four stars, then "Leland" clocks in at about two.

And that is why "Shaolin Soccer," a goofy Hong Kong action comedy, gets three stars. It is piffle, yes, but superior piffle. If you are even considering going to see a movie where the players zoom 50 feet into the air and rotate freely in violation of everything Newton held sacred, then you do not want to know if I thought it was as good as "Lost in Translation."



This probably applies to many music critics too, but who knows how many?

"people know you by your first name and qoute you in their signatures."

- Ali

Apr 28th (5 years ago)

Posted by: bezley

The intro of Jesusland, is actually reversed as I realised yesterday. So the harmonies are actually fine once played backwards!!