terrible facebook status updates

Oct 18th (2 years ago)

Posted by: Edwin

Oct 16
Ryan has the best girlfriend EVER! :). 8:42am
Ryan has the best girlfriend EVER and just got a raise, life doesn't get much better than this! :). 9:09am
Oct 17
Ryan will dig a hole now and crawl deep inside. 12:56pm
Ryan holds on to hope. 1:25pm
Ryan holds on to hope, but isn't sure why. 2:03pm
Ryan will keep his head up through thick and thin. Optimism will keep him going. 2:24pm
Ryan will keep his head up through thick and thin. Optimism will keep him going. He will not be weak. 5:52pm
Oct 18
Ryan is crying. 1:16pm
Ryan is crying and trying not to think about it, but it's not working. 1:18pm
Ryan is crying and trying not to think about it, but it's not working. His world has been crushed and has crashed to the ground. 1:21pm

In the land of the skunks, the man with half a nose is king.

Oct 18th (2 years ago)

Posted by: asydlow81

ilat

and you thought you had a shitty last 48 hours.

"I'm not sure what she brings to the ticket other than she's a woman and a conservative." –Sarah Palin's mother-in-law, Faye Palin, who said she may vote for Obama

Oct 18th (2 years ago)

Posted by: tbonejc1

Is "Ryan" really Bent FLobes?

"It's for the safety of your protection"

Oct 18th (2 years ago)

Posted by: emaline03

Ryan should get off of facebook and get a real life.

they gave you life and in return you gave them hell

Oct 18th (2 years ago)

Posted by: Jimbob

A pet peeve of mine is when people change their status updates, but pay no attention to grammar.

Eg: "James Draper is woohoo, new shoes".

You can AT LEAST get rid of the word "is", people.

Angeline Fishguarde, your actions will be dealt with in good time, you mark my words!

Oct 18th (2 years ago)

Posted by: ShannonS

A pet peeve of mine is when it's a constant stream of status...

Like "____ just woke up."
"____ is taking a shower."
"____ is going to work."
"____is at work."
"____is at work but doesn't feel like working."
"____ is driving home from work" (sent from iPhone)
"____ is fixing dinner."
"____is eating dinner."
"____ is so tired but not going to be just yet."
"___is going to be bed."

"I want to sleep in an open field, to travel west, to walk freely at night." Sylvia Plath

Oct 18th (2 years ago)

Posted by: caats19

glancing at my friends list

is LETS GO TECH..way to wrech on the sorry aggies..hello undeafeated!!.

is swimming to brighter days, despite the abscence of sun. Choking on saltwater, she's not giving in. She swims.

is hot tubbin' on the late night.(drewmg)

No hard feelings to the benfolds.org unless that's what you want in which case you can all go smoke a ten foot dick? Is that in the spirit? God bless you all.
Love,
ben

Oct 19th (2 years ago)

Posted by: emanstevenson

On my facebook, Ill actually has the most recent status update:

Phillip Hall is going to eat leftovers all day forever and ever.

-------------------------------
Knight Rider
Michael Knight: "It's called parasailing."
KITT:"Wrong, it's called total insanity."

Oct 19th (2 years ago)

Posted by: +Ill

I haven't started yet.

save yourself

Oct 19th (2 years ago)

Posted by: emanstevenson

Now, when you say "all day forever and ever" does that mean that forever and ever you'll eat leftovers EVERY day in that time period? Or does it mean that forever and ever you'll eat leftovers until THIS DAY is over?

-------------------------------
Knight Rider
Michael Knight: "It's called parasailing."
KITT:"Wrong, it's called total insanity."

Oct 19th (2 years ago)

Posted by: ShannonS

"is cheering on the cats."

"wants oklahoma state to win."

"is going to work soon."

"can't believe penn state and oklahoma state are undefeated."

"I want to sleep in an open field, to travel west, to walk freely at night." Sylvia Plath

Oct 19th (2 years ago)

Posted by: emanstevenson

is going to play Harry Harry Potter with Rebel, Tea and Crackers!

-------------------------------
Knight Rider
Michael Knight: "It's called parasailing."
KITT:"Wrong, it's called total insanity."

Oct 19th (2 years ago)

Posted by: +Ill

The latter.

save yourself

Oct 19th (2 years ago)

Posted by: Bob Dylan

Sep 26
was illegally fired from Whole Foods Market !!! - I'll see what the Attorney General has to say about that :-) 6:46pm

was illegally fired from Whole Foods Market !!! 5:30pm

Sep 24
is going to school :-) 5:13am

Sep 15
tiene su facebook en espanol :-) 6:00pm

Sep 4
"wants fabulous, that is my simple request" 3:01pm

is probably voting for obama just to cancel out my mom's vote for "McCant" 12:33pm

Aug 29
is very impressed by McCain's pick... Although i would've liked Napolitano better... who to vote for? 12:31pm

Aug 28
knows that YOU CAN'T STOP THE BEAT! 9:35am

Aug 24
is thinking that the cute dominic kid is really smart, "Stupid Biden. I want HILLARY!!!". 11:22pm

Aug 16
is in yet another paradox... why can't life run on logic? 1:01am

Aug 14
wants some big tasty man yams LMAO. 10:36am

LOL!

But I Was Going to Toshi Station to Pick Up Some Power Converters!

Oct 19th (2 years ago)

Posted by: kelbellene

Most of my friends have football-related statuses today.

Hang in there! XXOO, Jamie Lynn Spears

Oct 19th (2 years ago)

Posted by: +Ill

I think the plural is "stati".

save yourself

Oct 19th (2 years ago)

Posted by: Edwin

is swimming to brighter days, despite the abscence of sun. Choking on saltwater, she's not giving in. She swims.

lol

In the land of the skunks, the man with half a nose is king.

Oct 19th (2 years ago)

Posted by: emaline84

i hate when people do this.. this is what my friend's status says,

".... is enjoying her day off. I forgot what this is like." she goes from 3rd to 1st person.

i'm the emaline named whitney.

Oct 19th (2 years ago)

Posted by: ShannonS

I also get irritated when people want us to feel sorry for them:

" just wants to go back in time to when i cared about life and it cared about me...um, how about 2 or 3 years ago."

"wants to delete them all again, because i cant stand to read all about it, but what good would that do"

or the bragging types:

"will be spending the next six days in Vegas!"

"finished his marathon 10 minutes before my goal time."

"I want to sleep in an open field, to travel west, to walk freely at night." Sylvia Plath

Oct 19th (2 years ago)

Posted by: creamsodasmom

...is mad work son.

...is breathing good.

...is GET TO THE INTERNETS!

...found his bro haha.

...is RUM CAKE!!!

www.weknowplato.com
www.weknowplato.com
and
www.weknowplato.com

Oct 19th (2 years ago)

Posted by: +DrewMG

is hot tubbin' on the late night.(drewmg)

yadidamean?

ancient ropes and rocks!

Oct 20th (2 years ago)

Posted by: +Ill

...is rather stoked his Dad is now on Facebook! Good on ya!

save yourself

Oct 20th (2 years ago)

Posted by: Emaline Jones

i hate when people do this.. this is what my friend's status says,

".... is enjoying her day off. I forgot what this is like." she goes from 3rd to 1st person.

I'm guilty of that. but for the power of good. mine's

"... watched it for a little while, i like to watch things on tv"

not you naan bread

Oct 20th (2 years ago)

Posted by: jooce129

oh my gawd facebook status updates are the reason i sometimes regret the internet exists

"to be fair, i have read a few funny things on [the org] and there are people pointing out good new music but very often i've clicked on the address and a hologram of a turd came steaming out of the computer. if, as the name of the site implies, i somehow caused that, then i get down on my knees and pray for forgiveness to the gods."

- ben folds

http://tinyurl.com/someblog

Oct 20th (2 years ago)

Posted by: +DrewMG

really? same here except with benfolds quotes

ancient ropes and rocks!

Oct 20th (2 years ago)

Posted by: ShannonS

Sometimes I feel as though most of them may as well just say,

"is begging for attention. Please ask and comment on my status."

"I want to sleep in an open field, to travel west, to walk freely at night." Sylvia Plath

Oct 20th (2 years ago)

Posted by: Emaline Jones

what drew? you mean like this one?

“C'mon, give me the camera... Don't shoot.”

- Ben Folds

not you naan bread

Oct 20th (2 years ago)

Posted by: kelbellene

...thinks McCain looks like a palbearer. TALKING POINT OF THE DAY.

Hang in there! XXOO, Jamie Lynn Spears

Oct 20th (2 years ago)

Posted by: emanstevenson

Sometimes I feel as though most of them may as well just say,

"is begging for attention. Please ask and comment on my status."


iawtp

-------------------------------
Knight Rider
Michael Knight: "It's called parasailing."
KITT:"Wrong, it's called total insanity."

Oct 20th (2 years ago)

Posted by: Goblinboy

you all seem to pay lots of attention to other people's stati imo.

GB is god-gooseman
well i dont like facials, but i enjoy a pearl necklace- jessk983
I'm very impressed with Goblinboy-Celeborn
I can't compete with the adonis that is Goblinboy.-Neil Mace
goblinboy sure is smarter than us - guiltywhiteboy