terrible facebook status updates

Jun 13th (3 months ago)

Posted by: kelbellene

A creepy guy I went to HS with has tried to add me on facebook 3 times now. Get the hint, dude. I didn't know you well enough to be facebook friends. Because you're creepy.

If there's two things America needs right now that is sunshine and optimism... and also Angels.

Jun 13th (3 months ago)

Posted by: m_v

sorry kel i am just jealous of your loving husband who keeps you very very happy

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Jun 13th (3 months ago)

Posted by: kelbellene

But mv, we are facebook friends! I am okay with being facebook friends with creepy guys I have never met.

If there's two things America needs right now that is sunshine and optimism... and also Angels.

Jun 14th (3 months ago)

Posted by: m_v

hey now!

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Jun 14th (3 months ago)

Posted by: !gas!panic!

my facebook is blowing up b/c adam lambert is gaying it up in the city, call me when it's kris allen!!!!

Jun 14th (3 months ago)

Posted by: Emaline Jones

kel, a creepy dude i went to HS with added me long ago but recently added my siblings (who he's never met) to FB. And then attempted to tell me that they added him. What.

[same dude as before] I just don't know much about this chik. I ask her mate tomro and find out at work why she thinks I would get along with her and vice versa. She sounded pretty damn serious.

I murdered my wife

Jun 15th (3 months ago)

Posted by: John Lennon

Enjoying baking chocolate chip cookies before Obummer's Obese Police come in and tell me what I can and can't bake in my own kitchen!

I still blush when I read the part of the transcript where he says something like "Alan called and said Benfolio sent him a funny e-mail"

:D

Jun 15th (3 months ago)

Posted by: Goblinboy

hahahahaha

Proud recipient of the annual Montgomery Burns award for outstanding achievement in the field of excellence

Jun 15th (3 months ago)

Posted by: John Lennon

one more from sa

I know dis girl 4 past 2 years, & we haven don eny tin like sex. she want to keep her virginity till d day of our welding, last week she got rapped by group of boys.she lost her virginity. Should i go ahead or ron away 4rm her?

I still blush when I read the part of the transcript where he says something like "Alan called and said Benfolio sent him a funny e-mail"

:D

Jun 15th (3 months ago)

Posted by: John Lennon

Now, I have my main floor tickets to see Paul McCarthy next month one last time at Time Warner Arena.I'm psyched! I hope he is as good as he use to be in beetles....

I still blush when I read the part of the transcript where he says something like "Alan called and said Benfolio sent him a funny e-mail"

:D

Jun 15th (3 months ago)

Posted by: John Lennon

oh man i'm having fun

Pretty frustrated with my "family", sick of being an afterthought to everyone, yet they are the first to judge me on what they think is going on in my life. Funny, Ben Fold's put it best..."You don't know me at all!!"

Brain Wilson on Sunday Best !!!!! And ooh my! The Elder! Lord Lord Lord!!!!! I so love the Lord too!!!

IMAGINE, JOHN LEMMON DOCUMENTARY :ON PALLADIA.

I still blush when I read the part of the transcript where he says something like "Alan called and said Benfolio sent him a funny e-mail"

:D

Jun 17th (3 months ago)

Posted by: m_v

If anyone wants the new Pocket Vinyl album and is in the area, please find me so I can sell it to you for the low price of $10. I don't want to be pushy, but music is sort of my job now, so every sale helps me quite a bit. Your money is going towards a tangible effort.

jk but everyone you guys you all need to hear eric's stuff. he's got a good shot to make a living with this. sounds great buddy friend

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Jun 20th (3 months ago)

Posted by: emanstevenson

You douche.

Thanks buddy!

Eric: "What is this called?" (points to butt)
Korean Student in the back of class: "Nature Hole!"

Jun 22nd (77 days ago)

Posted by: +88 Kickin Keys

[...] BP hass 33 rigs in the gulf that employee hundreds of people...Obama, not BP, is the one who put the moratorium on deepwater drilling, and therefore put these people out of work, hopefully on wednesday the courts stand up for the American people and overturn our President's stupidity.

He wanted it all...

but he got more than he bargained for.

Jun 23rd (77 days ago)

Posted by: !gas!panic!

Funeral viewing done, now taco Tuesday with mom

Jun 23rd (77 days ago)

Posted by: silvergirl

1. some people are fucking assholes. really truly assholes.
2. i'm drunk
3. i'm worried that one day i'll have a worst facebeook stutus update.

I pinch babies.

The spirit of Bruce Lee is with me.

it would be adventuretastic!

Jun 23rd (76 days ago)

Posted by: Emaline Jones

[dude 1] Amanda Bynes is retiring at 24 I like all her movies.

[dude 2] It sucks hey im really disappointed. She was a funny and hot actress.

[dude 1] Indeed ****. I've only seen her in she's the man.

I murdered my wife

Jul 21st (48 days ago)

Posted by: John Lennon

Brian Wilson:
Katy Perry "California Gurls": I love her vocal, she sounds very clear and energetic. The melody is infectious, and I'm flattered that Snoop Dogg used our lyric on the tag. I wish them well with this cut. - Brian

Ben Folds

Jul 21st (48 days ago)

Posted by: m_v

****** **** Would u accept a "friend request" from someone whos been: emotionally & physically abusive, has lied about u for many years to friends/family, has decieved & used u, has tried to currupt & downgrade ur own children, has been given multiple chances to be a true person in ur life only to mess them all up?How many chances... could u give this person in life before uve had ur fill & are done? Even if the person is related?

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Jul 21st (48 days ago)

Posted by: Willie

is this you or someone else asking this

its better than rushmore and life aquatic...and not quite as good as con-air or twister...its right in between there

Jul 21st (48 days ago)

Posted by: m_v

someone else

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Jul 26th (44 days ago)

Posted by: !gas!panic!

Alert: David G is prejudiced against transgenders and drag queens, as shown in multiple posts and spoken words on the Axis Nightclub patio. Please send him your thoughts.

the most unbelievable 75 comments of mostly shallow faggot bitchery that you've ever witnessed followed this, including:

I will close in this fashion. I will continue to state what I believe is the truth. If that disturbs you I am not concerned. Though you are obviously a misguided individual you were at least in the beginning a good friend to me. I fear your ravenous desire for vain glory and acceptance from the shallow and the lost has corrupted you and at the moment you are unworthy of trust. But loyalty is a quality that I take seriously in myself and others. I will never harm you and will graciously remember a different time when you were a different person. I will look back on those days fondly and forgive you for your deceit and you duplicitous behavior today. But the things I have said to, though they were said in rancor and disillusionment, I meant. In the greater picture this entire thread means nothing and this lame war of words is inconsequential. I just grow tired of falsehoods and the fake. All those who are not true will be exposed eventually. And I though not at all perfect have nothing to hide because I am naked and exposed to the one who matters. I showed myself to him over 20 yrs ago. And he has accepted and forgiven me. I wish the same acceptance to u peace.

and

Well i don't no him and i don't want to no but if u EVER!!!David come at me like that ever again in life not that u have much more of it i'll come from fucking NC and kick yo grandpa looking ass bitch u don't no me don't fuck with me i'm DONE get off FACEBOOK its about that time !!!

Jul 26th (43 days ago)

Posted by: Tuberculosis

hahaha

Alert: David G is prejudiced against transgenders and drag queens

I think they're weird pretty much. I don't know that I'd want a tg or dg president or something. Add me to the list I guess

X:If you could be a superhero, which one would you be?
TB: Jesus...
X: Jesus wasn't a superhero.
TB: He wasn't?
X: No.
TB: Ok then....uh....Teen Wolf
X: nevermind

Jul 27th (43 days ago)

Posted by: !gas!panic!

meh. it's a touchy subject.

but a "drag queen as president" is just a completely goofy, hilarious, awesome concept that i don't understand. it's not really in any important way different than ronald reagan having been an actor, so i don't get it...

Jul 27th (43 days ago)

Posted by: dustybooks

to state the obvious, we already had one as head of the FBI

I HAVE WRITTEN A BOOK, MYSELF, I AM A WRITER, I HAVE WRITTEN A BOOK AND IT'S CALLED--

HE GOT WHAT HE WANTED BUT HE LOST WHAT HE HAD! THAT'S IT! SHUT UP! SHUT UP! SHUT UP! HE GOT WHAT HE WANTED BUT HE LOST WHAT HE HAD! THE STORY OF MY LIFE! CAN YOU DIG IT?

Jul 27th (43 days ago)

Posted by: !gas!panic!

http://www.ehow.com/how_2171663_transgender-cross-dress
er-drag-queen.html

Jul 27th (42 days ago)

Posted by: +Ill

to state the obvious, we already had one as head of the FBI

Blowing my mind right there how obvious that was, but pertinent!!! Yeah I can't see how it'd be an issue.

PS. here is a picture of former foreign minister Alexander Downer going about his business:
http://oiiaustralia.com/wp-content/uploads/downer_fishn
ets_220.jpg

no way

Jul 27th (42 days ago)

Posted by: Willie

it's not really in any important way different than ronald reagan having been an actor, so i don't get it...

well, actor was his occupation. that's kinda different.

its better than rushmore and life aquatic...and not quite as good as con-air or twister...its right in between there

Jul 27th (42 days ago)

Posted by: Tuberculosis

good points

I dunno. I'm assuming that being a draq queen and/or transgender is pretty far off center of the spectrum of human behavior. somewhere on the left equivalent to Rick Santorum on the right

i don't think i could get behind someone that far from the center politically (excepting maybe david kucinich)

I need to think on this one

X:If you could be a superhero, which one would you be?
TB: Jesus...
X: Jesus wasn't a superhero.
TB: He wasn't?
X: No.
TB: Ok then....uh....Teen Wolf
X: nevermind

Jul 27th (42 days ago)

Posted by: Willie

*dennis

its better than rushmore and life aquatic...and not quite as good as con-air or twister...its right in between there