Transformers 2

Jun 28th (14 months ago)

Posted by: emanstevenson

I saw it. The first one was better.

I'm disappointed that there is no character development for the actual Transformers, which makes me feel like a nerd.

Thoughts?

"Eric? Toliet Paper!"

Jun 28th (14 months ago)

Posted by: Tuberculosis

we have a whole thread where we discuss things like this

maybe check there first

X:If you could be a superhero, which one would you be?
TB: Jesus...
X: Jesus wasn't a superhero.
TB: He wasn't?
X: No.
TB: Ok then....uh....Teen Wolf
X: nevermind

Jun 28th (14 months ago)

Posted by: Goblinboy

meow

Thread over, GB wins

LISTEN TO SOME FUNNY:
Masters of the Universe
http://www.rifftrax.com/iriffs/ronin-fox-trax/ronin-fox
-trax-masters-universe

A Nightmare on Elm Street 3
http://www.rifftrax.com/iriffs/ronin-fox-trax/ronin-fox
-trax-a-nightmare-elm-street-3

Jun 28th (14 months ago)

Posted by: gooseman

im hoping to avoid seeing this as i know it will make me eeth with rage then i will vent and be told to shove it.

Jun 28th (14 months ago)

Posted by: Imperiai2

I'd see it in IMAX if I can find the time, but I'm not trying all that hard to find said time.

Assuming it's fairly similar to the first one, tt's just crazy summer popcorn eye candy. Nothing really all that noteworthy about it I'd bet.

Most Sincerely,
Imp the Gimp

desmond showed back up out of nowhere. locke had lost his faith that the button meant anything at all, so he kicked eko out of the booth -- DrewMG

That's so Emma and Julia!

Jun 28th (14 months ago)

Posted by: caats19

only cool part was optimus prime for me. everything else was just a mess. even for a summer movie. i agree though, i wanted more robot vs robot. not robot vs human.

"cats u are the 69 of the Dot org."

"That doesn't make any sense, future +caats19."
+Ill

No hard feelings to the benfolds.org unless that's what you want in which case you can all go smoke a ten foot dick? Is that in the spirit? God bless you all.
Love,
ben

Jun 28th (14 months ago)

Posted by: gooseman

the first one was shit too caats.

Jun 28th (14 months ago)

Posted by: !gas!panic!

I'm disappointed that there is no character development for the actual Transformers...

did you crawl out from under a rock to see this movie? or do you always take such expectations into michael bay movies?

Jun 28th (14 months ago)

Posted by: cheezewiz

i saw it at midnight and fell asleep for the last 20 minutes

Jun 28th (14 months ago)

Posted by: Jimbob

I'm still wondering if I was in the midst of some kind of temporary insanity for enjoying the first one.

Angeline Fishguarde, your actions will be dealt with in good time, you mark my words!

Jun 29th (14 months ago)

Posted by: Tuberculosis

did you crawl out from under a rock to see this movie? or do you always take such expectations into michael bay movies?

bingo. it's good, mindless, summer fare. anyone going in with expectations of character development or plot arcs, etc. is delusional.

part of me wants to skip GI Joe because it will not do it justice, but then part of me wants to go watch things get blown up

X:If you could be a superhero, which one would you be?
TB: Jesus...
X: Jesus wasn't a superhero.
TB: He wasn't?
X: No.
TB: Ok then....uh....Teen Wolf
X: nevermind

Jun 29th (14 months ago)

Posted by: +Ill

The latter part will win imo.

I'm so modern that everything is pointless.

Jun 29th (14 months ago)

Posted by: !gas!panic!

why are they making movies out of all of the toys i never played with ?

Jun 29th (14 months ago)

Posted by: Tuberculosis

are you waiting for the Barbie movie LOL???

Gi Joes were seriously awesome though

i was kinda of a transformers guy, but i had oodles of Gi Joes

X:If you could be a superhero, which one would you be?
TB: Jesus...
X: Jesus wasn't a superhero.
TB: He wasn't?
X: No.
TB: Ok then....uh....Teen Wolf
X: nevermind

Jun 29th (14 months ago)

Posted by: !gas!panic!

i cannot believe the opening that this movie had. $126 million over the weekend, $201 million since last wednesday.

are you waiting for the Barbie movie LOL???

GOOD WON.

Jun 29th (14 months ago)

Posted by: gooseman

Michael Bay opened his walk-in bomber jacket closet and looked at the endless racks of bomber jackets. "What'll it be, Chief?" he said to himself. He picked out a dark bomber jacket with crackled leather and put it on. Michael Bay shook his head and shed the jacket, leaving it in a heap on the floor. He tried a nice sheepskin bomber jacket, coffee colored, fur collar. No. He threw it on top of the other. He did this with 10 other variations of bomber jacket before finally settling on what was really more of a motorcycle jacket. He would have to have Manuel be more careful. This jacket should really have been in the walk-in motorcycle jacket closet.

He moved to the walk-in sunglasses closet, but he did not spend much time in there. It contained hundreds, perhaps thousands of identical pairs of aviator shades. He picked out a pair and put them on, and he walked the fuck out.

He brushed his teeth with COCAINEPASTE.

Michael Bay drove his motorcycle down the stairs and into the breakfast nook and hopped off into a controlled roll. The bike continued on, smashing through the sliding doors, and rolling down the Beachwood deck until it plunged into the 20-person hot tub. Michael Bay cackled.

"THAT MOTORCYCLE IS GAY!" he shouted at the gay motorcycle. "BE A MAN!" he told the motorcycle. The motorcycle didn't do anything. Michael Bay ate a bagel.

Michael Bay blew up his house.

Michael Bay had an important meeting about explosions. He got into his Ferrari and he drove it 100 miles per hour off a cliff and he died and his corpse got an erection. His corpse dragged itself to the battery with a pair of jumper cables and jolted itself back to life. Michael Bay dragged a hand through his slick hair and he gave the Angel of Death the finger, and the Angel of Death said "Your movies suck," and Michael Bay said "What would you know about it?" and the Angel of Death put the back of his bony fingers under his chin, and flicked them at Michael Bay, the international sign of "fuck you" but Michael Bay was already gone. His meeting was at the Coffee Bean, and he was already a little late because of the whole dying thing.

Michael Bay drove his car into the front of the Coffee Bean, a bunch of people died. He did not bother resurrecting them. They weren't him. They weren't the center of the universe. A group of important people financing his latest film were sitting around a table drinking herbal teas and iced Frappucinos. Michael Bay slapped the cups out of all of their hands. "Put some nuts on it!" he said.

And he walked out of the Coffee Bean, peace sign flashing.

Meeting ADJOURNED!

Jun 29th (14 months ago)

Posted by: Pointer

I remember when the original came out I was one of the only people on this board that thought it sucked. I'm glad everyone else is finally coming around.

Oh, and the only benefit to this movie coming out is an excellent chance at a good rifftrax.

Talking about Iraq... my failsafe method to win any argument on the dorg.
-I know what this war is about... I'm in Iraq
-I disagree with McCain... and I'm in Iraq
-I'm not a pervert... I'm in Iraq

*I also give all of you permission to use me as a "friend in Iraq" to win arguments outside of the dorg

Jun 29th (14 months ago)

Posted by: Kid-Kenobi

I heard one of the Transformers has faux testicles. That's sort of akin to "Emo Spider-man" in Spidey III for me. Think I'll avoid it 'til I get the email that tells me I can get cheap student tix to it.

All I'm saying is, when we split the cheque three ways, the steak-eater picks the pocket of the salad-man.

Jun 29th (14 months ago)

Posted by: !gas!panic!

i think your PTSD has fucked up your memory b/c on just the very first page of this thread there are tons of ppl making fun of it:
http://benfolds.org/forum/55302

Jun 29th (14 months ago)

Posted by: !gas!panic!

I heard one of the Transformers has faux testicles.

TRUCK NUTZ

Jun 29th (14 months ago)

Posted by: Goblinboy

Oh, and the only benefit to this movie coming out is an excellent chance at a good rifftrax.


Eh, if it's another "lets spend the whole movie reminding you we think this is a bad movie instead of making jokes" riff like a lot of them have been lately then I can do without it.

it will not do it justice

Do what justice? the cartoon or your memories of playing with the toys?

Thread over, GB wins

LISTEN TO SOME FUNNY:
Masters of the Universe
http://www.rifftrax.com/iriffs/ronin-fox-trax/ronin-fox
-trax-masters-universe

A Nightmare on Elm Street 3
http://www.rifftrax.com/iriffs/ronin-fox-trax/ronin-fox
-trax-a-nightmare-elm-street-3

Jun 29th (14 months ago)

Posted by: Yossarian

I hear there's some really offensive racial stereotype transformers in this one.

americans our assholes - mulligan tyler balls

Jun 29th (14 months ago)

Posted by: emanstevenson

yeah, the big black one has huge balls.

"Eric? Toliet Paper!"

Jun 29th (14 months ago)

Posted by: Imperiai2

GI Joe makes Transformers look like Oscar fare, though, has anyone seen that trailer? It looks AWFUL. Like, 'how in fucking FUCK did this get greenlit' AWFUL. I don't think I would have expected much anyway, but it resembles GI Joe in almost NO WAY AT ALL. It's about soldiers who wear HALO suits, it doesn't resemble the toy line at all, and I was a huge GI Joe kid my practically my whole life, via my brothers Joes up until they really started to suck in the mid/early 90's. The movie seems to have Scarlett, Snake Eyes, the hot COBRA chick with the glasses (Sienna Miller?), and Storm Shadow, I think. Duke is in there but instead of an US Military guy with guns and bullets he wears the HALO suit I mentioned.

If it at least was a half-asses effort to resemble the toy line, I think it could have been really rad in a cheesy way. But it just looks like absolute complete utter garbage, and honestly, I hope it totally bombs.

Sorry, rant mode off.

Most Sincerely,
Imp the Gimp

desmond showed back up out of nowhere. locke had lost his faith that the button meant anything at all, so he kicked eko out of the booth -- DrewMG

That's so Emma and Julia!

Jun 29th (14 months ago)

Posted by: Yossarian

I'm just really keen to see that Bazooka Joe movie is all.

americans our assholes - mulligan tyler balls

Jun 29th (14 months ago)

Posted by: Tuberculosis

Imp..she's the Baroness. I think Dennis Quaid is Gen. Hawk in it too.

Not that I follow GI Joe all that closely, but I remember when the franchise took a turn toward the Delta 6 or Sigma 6 something or other where they wore those suits, so they are being true to the comics and action figures. You just didn't pay attention any more.

As I told webb on the other thread, I was in a theater with a bunch of African-Americans and nobody seemed to feel it was offensive. The people I was sitting with were cracking up.

X:If you could be a superhero, which one would you be?
TB: Jesus...
X: Jesus wasn't a superhero.
TB: He wasn't?
X: No.
TB: Ok then....uh....Teen Wolf
X: nevermind

Jun 29th (14 months ago)

Posted by: Imperiai2

Copy that, I guess. It still doesn't seem to ring true to what I think most people would think of when thinking of GI Joe. Like when I think of GI Joe, I think the cartoon from the mid-80's.

Most Sincerely,
Imp the Gimp

desmond showed back up out of nowhere. locke had lost his faith that the button meant anything at all, so he kicked eko out of the booth -- DrewMG

That's so Emma and Julia!

Jun 29th (14 months ago)

Posted by: Goblinboy

The transformers didn't look much like the transformers toys, I don't remember Optimus being all spikey

Thread over, GB wins

LISTEN TO SOME FUNNY:
Masters of the Universe
http://www.rifftrax.com/iriffs/ronin-fox-trax/ronin-fox
-trax-masters-universe

A Nightmare on Elm Street 3
http://www.rifftrax.com/iriffs/ronin-fox-trax/ronin-fox
-trax-a-nightmare-elm-street-3

Jun 29th (14 months ago)

Posted by: Emaline Jones

But they already did G.I. Jane :S

Flurg murg glurg flurg murg murg murg tennis murg murg. Was a murg murg flurg?

Jun 29th (14 months ago)

Posted by: +Ill

CGI Joe will be the title of my review.

I'm so modern that everything is pointless.